cloudy day

i read an email from a friend today and she brought up that she always tends to "futurize" her life because she was so busy. as i prepare to go to uk next week her comment makes a lot of sense. to get out of town requires a huge output of energy. work in the lab is stacked up. and have to get mom's pantry filled up. her medications on track. watering the yard arranged. so what is on today's menu? the landscaper is coming. it is a beautiful cloudy day. cool and fresh. just look at this day. relax. you know the list is there. write it all out and then relax some more. and take time to sink underneath the busyness - that is where life is happening in technicolor rather than the blended shades of beige and greenish brown of a normal day. show up for that meeting in the underground and all will sort itself out up on top.

No preparation required. The beauty of blogging is that it is in the moment, no forethought, no drafts. If I want to discuss the endearing qualities of my new dog, I could. But I won't. I want to note that I have a 3-day window of downtime in which to edit our website, set my business journal in order, and finish last year's accounting. I like the ebb and flow of this professional life, in spite of (or maybe because of) its unpredictability. It contains a blend of tasks, both type and context, that is perfect for my ADD mind. With gratitude, I remain open to the professional opportunities presented by this generous universe.

Buddha

I don't know what to write about. Maybe just documenting my current state would be useful to me down the road, when I stray off the path. I am happy, at peace -if only you, imagined reader, knew how unpeaceful, war-like, resentful I have been for most of my waking moments, you then could see what a big shift has taken place. or not. after all, this is an internal light, a warm glow in the solar plexus that kindles love, compassion, gratitude. No need to iterate my many many blessings. I want to just sit with this moment, then string along more moments of this thing - Grace.

focus, letting go

had a funny experience of getting sidetracked this weekend. virtuously i'd planned to do illustrations for my book. then got that email forwarded from the fine art site. a young woman wrote saying she loved my art and wanted to do a paper on me for college and she sent seven questions about art - would i answer them?. so i spent a day answering questions about art - my process, artists i like etc. sent them off. no answer. sent a follow up. no answer. did i just do a take home exam for someone? or?? did it occur to me to ask her more about the project first? no. my ego was inflated and I got sidetracked and took a ride. no matter. my focus is to complete the drawing for my book by the time i go to uk. easy to look at the time line and alot x amount for each drawing. at the same time life is fluid, unpredictable and lively. i hang onto my intention as i'm being pulled through the swirling currents of life. having fun.