Boot camp revisited

The one thing I learned from the short but sweet life of Hugo is that one needs to be alert at every waking moment. Hugo was simply the best dog we ever had. He was a lab mix with thick wavy black fur. He had two speeds: overdrive and park. He ran circles around the yard, canal path, dipping in and out of the pond while in overdrive, then respond to my call by coming at a gallop right up me, screeching to a halt and a perfect sit stay, waiting for the treat he could smell in my pocket. He was my constant companion, affectionate, funny - laugh aloud funny - sweet and smart. His only 'fault' was that when he was bored and we weren't watching, he'd slip off to visit neighboring dogs, seek out new smells, etc. That's what killed him. A pickup truck struck him as he ran full speed across the road in response to our calling him home. What I saw in Hugo during his too-short life was his constant waking state of being alert. Not simply open to life's possibilities as most dogs appear to me, but alert to what presents itself. The slight distinction being in the proactive nature of alertness. Openness is exposing oneself to whatever wants to enter and occupy your day, time, person. Alertness is an advanced stage in which you are ready, prepared to step into the opportunity that presents rather than let it pass through you. It is a more pro-active way of being. It requires faith and grace, which Hugo had in abundance.

it's my job

my friend across the street, Bart, came over. he is a dentist in his profession but an artist at heart. he told me that since he has a wife and child now, he has to make art like another job. something he goes to no matter what. so he will get up at 5 am to do some art before going to his office. and i'll see him on a weekend with his ski hat and art gear going out to the river to do plein air painting. he is my inspiration. tomorrow night he is coming over and we will paint green tomatoes from the bag i picked from the garden. a quantum year for me is turning out to be - not about magic. but about the more hands on transformation of sticking to what i said i wanted. "i want to write and be an artist." okay. that is the energy outlet i have to plug into whether it feels like anything or not. in london i drew one thing. the zipper on my suitcase. i sat in the dimly lit guest room and drew on a small piece of paper. one drawing, ten days. a little blip of energy toward "i want to write and be and artist." a spark.